Tuesday, February 21, 2006

News of the Ick

A 62-year-old California woman gave birth last week to a healthy 6-pound, 9-ounce baby boy, becoming one of the oldest women in the world to successfully bear a child. Janise Wulf gave birth to her 12th child. She is also a grandmother of 20 (!) and a great-grandmother of 3 (!!). Wulf was impregnated both times -- here comes the big surprise -- through in vitro fertilization.

Jesus Christ, where to begin? First, I swear to god that I thought the photo was from the local wax museum. She looks like some sort of awful cross between Harriet Miers and Darth Sidious. She is definitely not a GGILF.

More importantly, why is this woman getting pregnant? Hasn’t she had enough kids already? Fortunately, she’ll soon be able to use whatever diapers that the kid doesn’t use himself.

Lastly, it goes without saying that she god knocked up via artificial measures. Lord knows her husband would probably rather put his wiener in a wood-chipper than her vagina. At this point in time, I’m willing to wager that her cha-cha bears a striking resemblance to a wizard’s sleeve after pushing out all those kids.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL! Darth Sidious was my first thought as well. I think I see a touch of Jabba the Hut too(or maybe Pizza the Hut)...ick is right.

David James said...

I shudder every time I see that photo. And it turns out that the odd look on her face is because she's blind, not because of some weird mix of an epidural dose and menopause.

David James said...

Hahaha! That's episode 13.3.b, you goof!