Grim Wednesday

I am slowly coming to the sad and sickening conclusion that there is a very real chance that John McCain will be elected as our next President. My rationale for my depressing opinion will follow in a separate post, when I have more time to write. But for now, click on the above picture to see his short list of potential VP candidates. I got it from a relatively good source (thanks VMD!), so I'm pretty sure it's authentic.

Raven-McCain 2008!

Tuesday Work Musings

So I have a short break between insanely early morning meetings, which gives me a chance to write a quick update about my new job.

So far, I love my new job. The people I work with are professional, polite and smart. Very smart. I work mostly with researchers and scientists, and these people are ridiculously smart and talented. To the point where I am starting to believe that I am the dumbest person at my job. They'll start talking about some crazy technology or licensing issues, and I know that my face conveys that I am a total idiot in comparison. I swear, even the receptionist knows more about patents than me.

This is in stark comparison to the folks I used to work with in my old job, some of whom I am confident were borderline retarded. Because of that, it doesn't feel like I've used my brain much the past couple of years. In comparison, I've already learned a ton of new stuff here, which is great. The subject matter is new and the environment in which I am learning is almost academic, which is appropriate since much of my work is dealing with universities.

I know, I know. Many jobs start off great and then tail off. But so far, so good. And it's nice not to have a narcissistic, insecure, bipolar asshole screaming at you for not reading his mind.

Separated at Birth - Donatella Versace

.. and Janet from "The Muppet Show."

See if you can figure out which one is the Italian fashion designer and which one is the lead guitarist for the Electric Mayhem.



Hint #1: the heiress to the Versace throne is the surgically enhanced human that looks like a cartoon character. The other one is an actual cartoon character made of cloth. Whoops, guess that didn't help at all.

Hint #2: Try not to stare too long at the real Donatella or else you'll go blind. Seriously, it's like staring at the sun during a solar eclipse, but minus the piece of cardboard with the pinhole in it.

Happy Mothers Day

Observed on the second Sunday in May, Mother's Day is an annual holiday honoring florists, and marks the final date where retailers can rid themselves of the stale chocolates and heart-clutching teddy bears left over from Valentine's Day.

Seriously, it's a great holiday to remember one's mother. Here's wishing mothers (Kate, JP, and DG) and mothers-to-be (MS) a very happy Mother's Day. You are all fantastic moms and I hope you have a great day with your families.

Best Regards,
David James

Happy Friday

Don't ask me how ... but I somehow stumbled across this gem late last night and, after watching it approximately, I can conclusively state that it's the best dog movie I've ever seen. Seriously, if this movie doesn't make you laugh, there is something seriously wrong with you.

Now I will admit that the dogs were treated in a very un-PETA-like way in order to get them to act this way. But if we as a country are willing to look past waterboarding and other inhumane torture, I'm sure we can turn a blind eye to the director's motivational tactics in this film. Besides, the shit is funny.

Happy Wednesday

So working for a Finnish-based company, you often time have conference calls at odd times -- 6:00 a.m., 10:00 p.m. and the like. It's not a big deal because I can take them from home, as I do tonight where we are having our bi-weekly group call. The bad side is that Wednesday night is also rugby night, which is also a drinking night ... and then it's a conference call night ... and ..., well, you get the idea.

You would be proud of me, though. Tonight, I was very disciplined. I went to rugby practice, had a post-practice beer and headed home to get some dinner before my 10:00 call.

Until the point in time when I thought "well it would be a shame to eat dinner without a glass of wine."

And then I was like "well, my call is starting in 15 minutes, I'd better level off my glass since this call is going to last a hour."

Well as you can guess, David James was feeling pretty good during his call. Damn good, in fact, and the call was going fine, until I was suddenly asked "so what's going on with you, David James?"

Now normally I'm not so great when I'm put on the spot. It's even worse when I'm totally blindsided, I've had a couple of drinks, not to mention the fact that I am desperately trying to update this blog at the same time I sit on the call.

In my head I thought, "Jesus people, I have a world-wide blog audience that I am trying to satisfy here, folks. Stop harshing my mellow with all the work questions!!"

And what I said was more along the lines of "sure, let me update folks on the call about my current projects. Right now, I'm working on ...."

There are times when I want to shoot myself. This would be one of them.

Happy Wednesday / Thursday / whatever day you read this ...

Cinco de Mayo

Happy Cinco de Mayo, ninos y ninas! It's Wednesday, so it must be time for a new post. Oh wait, you're telling me it's Monday? Jesus, I am horrible at keeping track of time these days.

So in today's "News of the Awful," it was announced that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds had just gotten engaged over the weekend. Reynolds is a slight upgrade over Josh Hartnett in that he isn't quite so squinty and disheveled. For Reynolds, this represents a massive upgrade over his last fiancee, Alanis Morissette. Hey Ryan, can you choose my next Powerball lottery numbers for me?

Normally, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to type such tragic news, but I figure that his washboard abs and a pearly-white teeth will get old after a while, and then the charm of my ..., uhhh, not so washboard abs and less-than-perfect teeth will woo her over. Ugh, never mind. I'm going to go drink now.