So it turns out that Sen. Arlen Specter is a regular reader of my blog, as it appears that he quickly had a change of heart about the whole "perhaps Congress should investigate whether the NFL and the Philadelphia Eagles violated antitrust laws in their handling of the Terrell Owens suspension" musings from yesterday.
Glad to have you on board, Senator. While I wasn't a big fan of your dubious work for the Warren Commission, I am genuinely sorry if I referred to you under my breath as a pompous fuckwit. But I am glad that to see that you came to your senses, you pompous fuckwit. Oops, I did it again.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
This Pot Is Making Me Crazy!
Sen. Arlen Specter has accused the NFL and the Philadelphia Eagles of treating suspended wide receiver Terrell Owens unfairly, and might refer the matter to the antitrust subcommittee of the Senate Judiciary Committee.
Specter, who chairs the Judiciary Committee, said at a news conference that it was "vindictive and inappropriate" for the league and the Eagles to forbid the star wide receiver from playing and prevent other teams from talking to him. "It's a restraint of trade for them to do that, and the thought crosses my mind, it might be a violation of antitrust laws," Specter said.
For the love of Christ, what the fuck is wrong with Congress? Can we focus on some more important things like the war or poverty or deciding which conservative nut will be our next Supreme Court justice or anything else which is even remotely important? Investigating the NFL for possible antitrust violations because of the TO suspension strikes me as slightly less important as determining whether Heinz or Del Monte makes the superior ketchup (for the record, it's Heinz).
If you have so much free time Arlen, how about cleaning up your own your own kind? You've got fellow asshole Republican Randy "Duke" Cunningham resigning after pleading guilty to taking $2.4 million in bribes and you're focusing on a goddamned sport? Or do you think that the Duke (what a retarded nickname) is being similarly mistreated as Terrell Owens?
Fuck, we waste so much time and resources on ensuring that baseball players be free of performance enhancing drugs, but we don't even require mandatory drug testing for Congress? God, we are an entirely fucked up country right now.
Specter, who chairs the Judiciary Committee, said at a news conference that it was "vindictive and inappropriate" for the league and the Eagles to forbid the star wide receiver from playing and prevent other teams from talking to him. "It's a restraint of trade for them to do that, and the thought crosses my mind, it might be a violation of antitrust laws," Specter said.
For the love of Christ, what the fuck is wrong with Congress? Can we focus on some more important things like the war or poverty or deciding which conservative nut will be our next Supreme Court justice or anything else which is even remotely important? Investigating the NFL for possible antitrust violations because of the TO suspension strikes me as slightly less important as determining whether Heinz or Del Monte makes the superior ketchup (for the record, it's Heinz).
If you have so much free time Arlen, how about cleaning up your own your own kind? You've got fellow asshole Republican Randy "Duke" Cunningham resigning after pleading guilty to taking $2.4 million in bribes and you're focusing on a goddamned sport? Or do you think that the Duke (what a retarded nickname) is being similarly mistreated as Terrell Owens?
Fuck, we waste so much time and resources on ensuring that baseball players be free of performance enhancing drugs, but we don't even require mandatory drug testing for Congress? God, we are an entirely fucked up country right now.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Festivus is Upon Us
I loved Festivus (f/k/a Christmas / X-Mas and a/k/a Jesus Day!) when I was a kid. I loved the decorations ... the Charlie Brown Christmas special ... the tree ... the music ... oh yeah, and the presents.
Speaking of presents, you know, Santa, I've been pretty good this year. I mean, other than a few particularly mean rants in this blog. And I would mostly chalk that up to too much caffeine. So given that the official shopping riot season is upon us, here are the top items for my Christmas wish list:
* More media coverage of Paris Hilton and the Britney-Kevin marriage
* Yet another conservative, right wing nut for the Supreme Court
* Another visit to the Green Lantern in Washington, DC
* Four more years of George Bush (will accept the Jeb BushTM model as a substitute)
* More major mechanical work on my Land Rover
* More long trip turbulent air flight
* No pesky annual bonus to bump up my tax bracket
Oh yeah, and more world peace, too! Oh wait a second -- that was Christmas "I Pray These Things Won't Happen Next Year, But Know Damn Well They Will" list, Santa.
Oops! Sorry for the confusion. In any event, I don't need one of these, though. Merry Christmas, WM!
Sunday, November 27, 2005
What Is My Problem?
I swear to god, I thought this posting thing would be a lot easier than I had originally figured. "How difficult is it to write a 3 or 4 paragraph rant every day?" I wondered. And now I know. It seems like the only time I write any halfway decent shit is when I'm 30,000 miles in the air and trying to get my mind off of my seatmate who keeps belching up his Italian sub sandwich. (As an aside, it was so strong, I could taste the salami when I breathed in that lovely recirculated airplane air.... mmmmmm.)
Thanksgiving was okay, I guess. Holiday plans were scuttled when the eldest progeny came down with a stomach virus and had to make a quickie visit to Children's Hospital on Friday morning for some tests. It wasn't anywhere as serious as the virus that knocked him out of commission for 2 weeks back in June, but it was a fun reminder that our health is fragile. So I guess I can say I'm thankful for his continued health.
Which reminds me of other things I am for: my family and friends ... my job (at least it's not co-counsel for the Saddam Hussein trial) ... Charlie Brown TV specials (which I've seen at least 1,000 times each) .... the Internet (or how else could I do my afore-mentioned job) ... "The Office" (BBC version, thankyouverymuch) ... coffee .... uhhhh, world peace. And some really, really important stuff that I can't think of right now. But you get the idea.
Anyway, I promise my loyal reader(s) to get my shit together and post more often. After all, what's more important than scanning my retarded posts every day? Yeah, yeah, I know -- pretty much everything else. But even so, my get-rich-quick, Internet/blog/IPO scheme ain't going to happen with my occasional, half-ass posts about Nelly and strippers.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Jane Magazine CD
I'm please to announce that my sister's fiancee Taro and his band "Inside Seka" beat out over a thousand people to be one of the 10 upcoming bands selected for Jane Magazine's Annual Reader CD. Here's the link to the songs which comprise the CD. Inside Seka appears on Track 1. Click on it to see his band and listen to the song. Or better yet, purchase the entire CD.
Nelly Ain't Keeping it Real
"Musician" and "actor" Nelly purportedly spent over $10,000 on toys for underprivileged children after he reportedly felt guilty after a strip club binge. Nelly made the donation after he and another "musician" spent $10,000 on strippers and alcohol during a wild night out.
Oooooh, Nelly's a bad boy because he ran up a $10,000 strip club bill.
Oh please. I tell you what, until you run up a $241,000 credit card bill at a strip club, I don't want to hear about that -- and I certainly don't want to read how you unburdened your guilt by buying a bunch of toys for kids. Jesus Christ, you're supposed to be pimp/hip-hop star and you sound like a fucking contrite politician. Instead of buying toys, you should have said fuck it and bought more lap dances.
Because you know when you're career as a hardened rapper is dead when some white bread CEO from the Midwest knows how to represent better than you.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Disney-licious!
So I took the little ones this weekend to see the latest Disney extravaganza, “Chicken Little,” and I have to tell you I was pretty disappointed. Look, I wasn’t expecting “Citizen Kane” here but I also wasn’t expecting the ninety minutes of pabulum that I was force-fed on Sunday. Jesus Christ, I do not recall Disney movies being this bad when I was young.
That being said, “Chicken Little” was far better than the last Disney movie I saw -- “Winnie the Pooh’s Heffalump Adventure.” That movie was jaw-droppingly bad. You could almost hear in the movie background the faint sound of Walt Disney rolling over in his cryogenic chamber. I would rather watch Paris Hilton’s next OBGYN visit than see that movie again.
That being said, “Chicken Little” was far better than the last Disney movie I saw -- “Winnie the Pooh’s Heffalump Adventure.” That movie was jaw-droppingly bad. You could almost hear in the movie background the faint sound of Walt Disney rolling over in his cryogenic chamber. I would rather watch Paris Hilton’s next OBGYN visit than see that movie again.
Monday, November 14, 2005
I’m Sorry
Dear United Airlines:
I know I’ve had some harsh things to say about you, but really it was more about those parts about flying that I don’t enjoy and over which you exercise no control -- passengers, turbulence and the like. I was frustrated and blaming you for those things. And while it’s arguable as to whether any of my statements rose to the level of slander (my counsel has advised me that they do not), I realize that, at the very least, the derogatory statements I’ve made about you in person and print could be charitable described as derogatory.
The reason I am apologizing to you is because today, I flew another airlines -- I flew Southwest Airlines from Oakland to St. Louis -- and let me tell you I never realized how good I had it with you. Yes, I’ve experienced some of the same nuisances with you as I did with Southwest today. Today, it was shitty turbulence into Salt Lake City (as opposed to Denver) and an annoying passenger that smelled vaguely of cheese and body odor. But there was a lot of shit that Southwest did to me that you never did:
* There is no reserved seating whatsoever. While I can appreciate the egalitarian approach of a First Class-free airlines, I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the seating free-for-all that ensued when we boarded. It reminded me a little bit of law school when whatever random seat you selected on the first day turned out to be your permanent seating location for the entire semester. So Southwest reminds me of law school …. and I hated law school.
* Unbeknownst to me, a “direct” flight is not the same as a “non-stop” flight. “Non-stop” means you don’t stop at all between Point A and Point B. “Direct” means that you don’t have to get off the plane, but you could land numerous times between Point A and Point B. You never lied to me like that.
* 137 seats. 140 passengers. You do the math. Sugar, I never had anyone sit on my lap during one of your flights -- ever!
* You always take me to cool places I actually want to go to, like Washington DC, San Francisco, Denver, and Mexico. But this time, Southwest is taking me to Missouri -- which is one of the reddest of Red States -- and I really have no desire to go there. You never did that to me, honey.
Baby, I’m sorry it ever happened. Please forgive me. I promise it will never happen again. Except for Wednesday morning because flying you was like $600 more expensive. But then I promise never to go back again.
Love,
David James
Frequent Flyer #3939872
P.S. You also never subjected me to a 10+ minute discussion among the passengers sitting behind me as to whether Credence Clearwater Revival’s musical genre should be classified as folk, blues rock, country or soft rock. Who the fuck cares? And now I have a headache. Thanks Southwest passengers.
P.P.S. On a side note, I noted that Southwest only charges $4 for a cocktail and $3 for beer and wine. I’m not complaining mind you, just trying to give you an idea as to what the competition is doing.
I know I’ve had some harsh things to say about you, but really it was more about those parts about flying that I don’t enjoy and over which you exercise no control -- passengers, turbulence and the like. I was frustrated and blaming you for those things. And while it’s arguable as to whether any of my statements rose to the level of slander (my counsel has advised me that they do not), I realize that, at the very least, the derogatory statements I’ve made about you in person and print could be charitable described as derogatory.
The reason I am apologizing to you is because today, I flew another airlines -- I flew Southwest Airlines from Oakland to St. Louis -- and let me tell you I never realized how good I had it with you. Yes, I’ve experienced some of the same nuisances with you as I did with Southwest today. Today, it was shitty turbulence into Salt Lake City (as opposed to Denver) and an annoying passenger that smelled vaguely of cheese and body odor. But there was a lot of shit that Southwest did to me that you never did:
* There is no reserved seating whatsoever. While I can appreciate the egalitarian approach of a First Class-free airlines, I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the seating free-for-all that ensued when we boarded. It reminded me a little bit of law school when whatever random seat you selected on the first day turned out to be your permanent seating location for the entire semester. So Southwest reminds me of law school …. and I hated law school.
* Unbeknownst to me, a “direct” flight is not the same as a “non-stop” flight. “Non-stop” means you don’t stop at all between Point A and Point B. “Direct” means that you don’t have to get off the plane, but you could land numerous times between Point A and Point B. You never lied to me like that.
* 137 seats. 140 passengers. You do the math. Sugar, I never had anyone sit on my lap during one of your flights -- ever!
* You always take me to cool places I actually want to go to, like Washington DC, San Francisco, Denver, and Mexico. But this time, Southwest is taking me to Missouri -- which is one of the reddest of Red States -- and I really have no desire to go there. You never did that to me, honey.
Baby, I’m sorry it ever happened. Please forgive me. I promise it will never happen again. Except for Wednesday morning because flying you was like $600 more expensive. But then I promise never to go back again.
Love,
David James
Frequent Flyer #3939872
P.S. You also never subjected me to a 10+ minute discussion among the passengers sitting behind me as to whether Credence Clearwater Revival’s musical genre should be classified as folk, blues rock, country or soft rock. Who the fuck cares? And now I have a headache. Thanks Southwest passengers.
P.P.S. On a side note, I noted that Southwest only charges $4 for a cocktail and $3 for beer and wine. I’m not complaining mind you, just trying to give you an idea as to what the competition is doing.
Friday, November 11, 2005
I Love Rick Santorum
And by "love," I meant "loathe."
If you recall, Santorum is the guy that tried to equate sodomy with bestiality and incest. He's also the guy that wants to put a $250,000 cap on medical malpractice awards.
In a wacky bit of irony, it turns out that Santorum's wife sued a doctor for $500,000 in 1999 for pain and suffering due to a botched spinal manipulation ... which, ironically enough, turns out to be twice the amount of the cap which Santorum supported. Funny that his wife's 1999 suit must have conveniently slipped his mind.
Or it could simply be that Santorum is a hypocritical, worthless piece of shit.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Die Motherfucker, Die
Pat Robertson recently told a Pennsylvania town not to turn to God if things go poorly after the voters got rid out a school board that had backed intelligent design.
Here's Pat's exact quote:
"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don't wonder why he hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for his help because he might not be there."
Let's put aside for the moment that there's no "there" there. Words cannot describe how evil and soulless this man really is. I wish he would simply drop dead, rather than continue to spew his vitriolic hate.
He's no different than that asshole "Reverend Fred" (or whatever the fuck his name is) from Oklahoma that protests gay and lesbian gatherings while holding a big "God Hates Fags" sign. Except Pat has a wider audience and is, fortunately, older and closer to death. Amen.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Wow
I saw a brief article that said that Enrique Iglesias wants to launch his own brand of small condoms. Evidently, Enrique believes there's an untapped target market, which apparently includes himself.
What the fuck would possess someone like Enrique Iglesias to even hint at the fact that he has a small crank? Sweet Jesus, I didn't think there would be enough truth serum in the world for a sane man to admit that to anyone, let alone the media (not that contactmusic.com is the New York Times or anything, but still).
I am still at a total loss as to why you would ever state something like that unless:
(a) you were totally hammered,
(b) you were testifying in front of a grand jury (although that didn't really stop Scooter Libby), or
(c) it was some backwards way of tricking Anna Kournikova into having anal sex.
If anyone else has any other rational explanation, let me know.
What the fuck would possess someone like Enrique Iglesias to even hint at the fact that he has a small crank? Sweet Jesus, I didn't think there would be enough truth serum in the world for a sane man to admit that to anyone, let alone the media (not that contactmusic.com is the New York Times or anything, but still).
I am still at a total loss as to why you would ever state something like that unless:
(a) you were totally hammered,
(b) you were testifying in front of a grand jury (although that didn't really stop Scooter Libby), or
(c) it was some backwards way of tricking Anna Kournikova into having anal sex.
If anyone else has any other rational explanation, let me know.
United Ramblings
I’m flying again, which can only mean one thing -- time for some more random, nonsensical observations from 30,000 feet ….
* As much as I love to look at Scarlett Johansson, I just cannot bring myself to watch “The Island” as it plays on the plane. Putting aside the fact that all air flight movies go through some sort of weird sanitation process before being screening (translation: no boobies), it just looks like a horrible mashup of “Logan’s Run” and “Minority Report.” And now it appears that there are a couple of separate Ewan McGregors running around in the movie like some sort of bad homage to “Face Off.”
* Fifteen minutes of non-stop turbulence. Jesus-fucking-Christ … is there some way to fly from DC to California that does not involve traversing the Colorado mountain range and subjecting us to turbulence? Seriously, this shit is getting old.
* In order to help her rise from her chair, some woman sitting behind me keeps doing pull-ups on my seat, causing me to pitch backwards like I’m on some sort of goddamned roller coaster. Hey lady, would it kill you to say “excuse me” before giving me whiplash?
* It appears that I will be traveling to St. Louis and Denver on alternating weeks through the balance of the year for work. (God, I must have done something pretty shitty in a past life to deserve this.) It hasn’t been formally presented to me as such, but I figure that was for fear I would rent an AK-47 and go Tim Carrier on someone’s ass. While I have lots of friends in Denver, I only know BHug in Shit Louis. So if anyone can recommend anything fun to do in the Show Me state, please pipe up.
Lastly, thanks again for VMD and D-Rek for showing me a great time on Friday night. Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t a “Let’s-Blow-$241,000-at-Scores” night (evidently that’s reserved for bigwigs), but it was a fun night nonetheless. Also, thanks again to the Davis family for putting me up (and putting up with me) this weekend. Thanks again, bro.
* As much as I love to look at Scarlett Johansson, I just cannot bring myself to watch “The Island” as it plays on the plane. Putting aside the fact that all air flight movies go through some sort of weird sanitation process before being screening (translation: no boobies), it just looks like a horrible mashup of “Logan’s Run” and “Minority Report.” And now it appears that there are a couple of separate Ewan McGregors running around in the movie like some sort of bad homage to “Face Off.”
* Fifteen minutes of non-stop turbulence. Jesus-fucking-Christ … is there some way to fly from DC to California that does not involve traversing the Colorado mountain range and subjecting us to turbulence? Seriously, this shit is getting old.
* In order to help her rise from her chair, some woman sitting behind me keeps doing pull-ups on my seat, causing me to pitch backwards like I’m on some sort of goddamned roller coaster. Hey lady, would it kill you to say “excuse me” before giving me whiplash?
* It appears that I will be traveling to St. Louis and Denver on alternating weeks through the balance of the year for work. (God, I must have done something pretty shitty in a past life to deserve this.) It hasn’t been formally presented to me as such, but I figure that was for fear I would rent an AK-47 and go Tim Carrier on someone’s ass. While I have lots of friends in Denver, I only know BHug in Shit Louis. So if anyone can recommend anything fun to do in the Show Me state, please pipe up.
Lastly, thanks again for VMD and D-Rek for showing me a great time on Friday night. Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t a “Let’s-Blow-$241,000-at-Scores” night (evidently that’s reserved for bigwigs), but it was a fun night nonetheless. Also, thanks again to the Davis family for putting me up (and putting up with me) this weekend. Thanks again, bro.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
And I Thought Roberts Was Bad
Karl Rove is a smart motherfucker. Not only did he manage to avoid indictment (albeit, temporarily), he also managed to play us all like a bunch of chumps as it relates to the latest Supreme Court nominee. As one friend sadly predicted in her blog, Harriet Miers was likely nominated just so that should be predictably rejected in order to make way for Darth Alioto.
We all should have seen this one coming. GW (i.e., Rove) saw a golden opportunity to replace a moderate with a right-wing freak. If you read a summary of this guy’s legal opinions, you’ll find that this guy is Bork-alicioius (minus the fantastic chin-weasel that Bork sported). One commentator went so far as to say (warn?), “if confirmed, Alioto will immediately become the most conservative member of the Supreme Court.”
Fuck me.
“The most conservative member of the Supreme Court?” How do you accomplish that when you have Antonin “The Federalists are for Commies” Scalia and Clarence “Uncle” Thomas? Those wackos are so far on the right, that they’re on the left. And now we have another one to deal with?
I would rather gargle anthrax than see this fuck stick get confirmed to the Supreme Court. But I must admit that part of me is looking forward to the spectacle which will be his confirmation hearings, which I predict are going to be a huge war, bigger than Ali vs. Frazier … Red Sox vs. Yankees … Mary Kate vs. Paris …
The gloves are off Dems. Time to go Fight Club or else say goodbye “Roe v. Wade” and civil liberties.
We all should have seen this one coming. GW (i.e., Rove) saw a golden opportunity to replace a moderate with a right-wing freak. If you read a summary of this guy’s legal opinions, you’ll find that this guy is Bork-alicioius (minus the fantastic chin-weasel that Bork sported). One commentator went so far as to say (warn?), “if confirmed, Alioto will immediately become the most conservative member of the Supreme Court.”
Fuck me.
“The most conservative member of the Supreme Court?” How do you accomplish that when you have Antonin “The Federalists are for Commies” Scalia and Clarence “Uncle” Thomas? Those wackos are so far on the right, that they’re on the left. And now we have another one to deal with?
I would rather gargle anthrax than see this fuck stick get confirmed to the Supreme Court. But I must admit that part of me is looking forward to the spectacle which will be his confirmation hearings, which I predict are going to be a huge war, bigger than Ali vs. Frazier … Red Sox vs. Yankees … Mary Kate vs. Paris …
The gloves are off Dems. Time to go Fight Club or else say goodbye “Roe v. Wade” and civil liberties.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Karma is a Bitch
As I’ve previously noted (or is it “blogged?” God, I hate that word), I really don’t like flying. I realize it’s a necessary evil -- but it’s still evil. It’s kind of like being an idiot savant. At the end of the day, you’re still an idiot.
Anyway, today’s flight is no different than others, just chock full of fun memories. To wit:
* The middle aged woman sitting in the seat across the isle from me is driving me fucking nuts. It’s fine that she wears those non-sensical “motion-sickness-away” wrist bands. But to help her cope with the flight, she insists on doing Tai Chi for a solid 10 minutes. During her yoga time, it’s almost impossible for others to pass her without smacking my elbow/head/shoulder with their ass, including the 400 lb. dude who just assaulted me with his brontosaurus-sized ass (no way to avoid him). And seeing as how he was back there for a solid 15 minutes, he probably just pinched a huge colon loaf (Hello Lenny Kravitz!). Lovely visual there.
* The woman in the seat in front of me is vigorously knitting a sweater and her head keeps bobbing back and forth, like a goddamned woodpecker. Man, she is into it. I guess I shouldn’t care, but it’s goddamn distracting and makes my seat vibrate. Jesus, I’d be happy to just give her the money to buy a sweater if she’d only just stop.
* I just returned from the loo which the 400 pound Sasquatch must have just used. That was awful. I’m not sure what the guy ate, but I’m guessing curried lentils and/or spareribs were on the menu.
* I’ve mentioned my distaste/fear of turbulence, which is probably the thing I like least about flying. And today’s flight was turbulent-riffic. It kicked in around the time we’d be over the Colorado mountains and lasted for half an hour. I timed it. Somehow, I was able to distract myself with trying to figure out the plot nuances of “Fantastic Four.” That and the tight shirts that Jessica Alba wore during the entire movie.
* The Tai Chi master moved on to reading a court complaint. God, she’s an attorney. I hate attorneys.
* Since it’s an 11 hour flight from CA to DC, we get two movies for the price of one. In addition to the aforementioned “Fantastic Four,” we’ve been blessed with “Rebound” starring Martin Lawrence, where he goes way out of character to play a [ CHOOSE AN ADJECTIVE: angry / crazy / street wise ] [ CHOOSE A NOUN: sidekick / wise guy / coach]. This guy is a master thespian. He should change his name to Martin Lawrence Olivier. God, this movie looks awful. I can’t bring myself to distract myself with it, no matter how bad the turbulence gets.
I finally arrived at Washington-Dulles to spend a drunken weekend with VMD, D-Rek (his blog is great - check this out) and Bad Perm James.
If past drinking patterns are indicative of future ones, I predict my entry into rehab will likely occur by mid-week. Keep you posted.
Also, good luck to Berkeley RFC in Arizona this weekend. I wish I were there, lads. See you next week.
Anyway, today’s flight is no different than others, just chock full of fun memories. To wit:
* The middle aged woman sitting in the seat across the isle from me is driving me fucking nuts. It’s fine that she wears those non-sensical “motion-sickness-away” wrist bands. But to help her cope with the flight, she insists on doing Tai Chi for a solid 10 minutes. During her yoga time, it’s almost impossible for others to pass her without smacking my elbow/head/shoulder with their ass, including the 400 lb. dude who just assaulted me with his brontosaurus-sized ass (no way to avoid him). And seeing as how he was back there for a solid 15 minutes, he probably just pinched a huge colon loaf (Hello Lenny Kravitz!). Lovely visual there.
* The woman in the seat in front of me is vigorously knitting a sweater and her head keeps bobbing back and forth, like a goddamned woodpecker. Man, she is into it. I guess I shouldn’t care, but it’s goddamn distracting and makes my seat vibrate. Jesus, I’d be happy to just give her the money to buy a sweater if she’d only just stop.
* I just returned from the loo which the 400 pound Sasquatch must have just used. That was awful. I’m not sure what the guy ate, but I’m guessing curried lentils and/or spareribs were on the menu.
* I’ve mentioned my distaste/fear of turbulence, which is probably the thing I like least about flying. And today’s flight was turbulent-riffic. It kicked in around the time we’d be over the Colorado mountains and lasted for half an hour. I timed it. Somehow, I was able to distract myself with trying to figure out the plot nuances of “Fantastic Four.” That and the tight shirts that Jessica Alba wore during the entire movie.
* The Tai Chi master moved on to reading a court complaint. God, she’s an attorney. I hate attorneys.
* Since it’s an 11 hour flight from CA to DC, we get two movies for the price of one. In addition to the aforementioned “Fantastic Four,” we’ve been blessed with “Rebound” starring Martin Lawrence, where he goes way out of character to play a [ CHOOSE AN ADJECTIVE: angry / crazy / street wise ] [ CHOOSE A NOUN: sidekick / wise guy / coach]. This guy is a master thespian. He should change his name to Martin Lawrence Olivier. God, this movie looks awful. I can’t bring myself to distract myself with it, no matter how bad the turbulence gets.
I finally arrived at Washington-Dulles to spend a drunken weekend with VMD, D-Rek (his blog is great - check this out) and Bad Perm James.
If past drinking patterns are indicative of future ones, I predict my entry into rehab will likely occur by mid-week. Keep you posted.
Also, good luck to Berkeley RFC in Arizona this weekend. I wish I were there, lads. See you next week.
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