Hey, This Blogging Thing Is Fun!

January 20, 2009. Only 200 more days left to go. I knew this guy was a moron long ago when asked during a televised Reublican debate as to which political philosopher or thinker he most identified with and why, Bush responded, "Christ, because he changed my heart." That's when I knew we would be in for some trouble. But good god, I'm not sure anyone could have predicted how awful the next 8 years would be.

Speaking of God and predictions (hey look -- a segue!), I have to revisit an earlier post where Pat Robertson boldly predicted that would be a recession in 2008. Bold prediction there, Pat. But to his prophetic credit, Robertson suggested that Americans would be paying much more for gas at the pump and that oil would reach $150 a barrel.

Don't get me wrong, I will be the first person to call bullshit on a dubious Pat Roberston claim. But here we are barely halfway through the calendar year and this prediction looks like a mortal lock. The price for a barrel of oil has hit $144 and the average gas price nationwide is around $4.10 per gallon. Nine months ago, gas prices in California were less than $3 per gallon. Now gas is $4.60 per gallon and it's more likely that I will sooner see unicorns running in the streets than the return of $3 gas.

You know, next time we concoct some made up reason to invade another country, perhaps we should choose one with an endless supply of oil. Like "Petrolia" or "Oilrabia." That would make more sense.

Holy. Fuck.

In keeping with the politics theme, I ran across this awesome ad for eMobile (a Japanese phone company), which has a monkey politician stands before a chanting crowd holding up signs calling for "change."

Yes, that's right kiddos, the Japanese have produced a commercial featuring a monkey as an Obama-surrogate selling mobile devices. Fucking obscene.



As much as I love (a) monkeys, and (b) those insane Japanese game shows, this is pretty fucking ridiculous. Previously, a company in Texas was selling t-shirts which read "If Obama Gets Elected Will They Call It The "Black House'?" And we're still in June, boys and girls. This is going to be a long summer.

Sad or Hilarious? You Be the Judge ...

This Daily Kos article perfectly illustrates why McCain is entirely out of touch with modern society and, by extension, would be a terrible President. A simple off-handed question about computers led to the following exchange:

Q: Are you a Mac or a PC guy?

A: Neither, I'm an illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all of the assistance I can get.

What the fuck? Can a current Presidential candidate really be computer illiterate? I cannot fathom that my 5-year old is more fluent around a computer than McCain. Also, good call on disclosing the fact that you depend upon your prescription drug addicted wife to help you with technical matters. Perhaps when you're elected President, you can appoint Rush Limbaugh to your cabinet and they can compare notes as to how they illegally acquired prescription drugs.

So I'm thinking all of this was some sort of joke that McCain played on the interviewer. Or at least I did think that until one of his aides felt compelled to defend his boss' technology illiteracy.

"You don't actually have to use a computer to understand how it shapes the country," McCain aide Mark Soohoo said. [...] John McCain is aware of the Internet. This is a man who has a very long history of understanding on a range of issues."

Note to Senator McCain -- computers and the Interweb are not a fad and do not steal your soul. You are an idiot. The fact that you are oblivious to this means you are equally oblivious to an entire generation that has grown up with these technologies. Honestly, computer experience and skills are so basic and fundamental these days that I don't see how anyone is hired for even an entry-level job without them. Even McCain's beloved military uses them (extensively, I might add). Good god, please-oh-please do not let this guy win.

Next blog -- there's good news on the Obama front ...

Dear God, It's Me David James ....

You know it's been a long time since you've blogged when you can't remember your own blog address. Seriously, I should be fired from this job. Oh wait, I'm not paid. Yet. Never mind.

I won't post again about the cool aspects of my new job because, quite frankly, it's not that interesting and is repetitious (as most of this blog is, I guess). I will return to work snark, since most people can relate and, quite frankly, I am better at snarkiness than sycophantic commentary.

So I've started to work one day a week from the San Francisco office, which is huge because there is very little commute involved and the city is great. Nothing against Palo Alto, but it's not like I work near the cool area and there are only so many times that I can go to the same taqueria for lunch.

So I'm working from San Francisco, where we share a floor with some other tenants. Actual office space is at a premium and everyone shares offices, so I don't have any reserved or exclusive space based on my periodic visits.

This morning I had a conference call which began at 8:30 and, as always, I got to the office minutes beforehand. Scrambling to find some space other than the kitchen to take the call, the receptionist opened one of the shared offices and assured me that the people had been out all week.

As is always my luck, one of the true office holders shows up about 30 minutes into the call. Since all the offices are shared, it's not a big deal and we each settle into our own work areas.

I go back to focusing on my call when I start to notice that my office worker is wearing perfume. A lot of it. And it's not a soft, subtle perfume. Rather, it's a fairly potent old lady perfume which, evidently, is sold by the pint. It's a cross between Bloomingdale's fragrance section and a convalescent home.

Bless her heart, she's a very nice person but I find myself getting somewhat dizzy by the fumes. And every time she moves even slightly, the odor quickly spreads again through the 8'x10' office. Ugh.

I keep holding the coffee cup up to my face, pretending to take a sip but I'm really using it as a masking agent. It's akin to how drug smugglers use coffee beans to throw off drug-sniffing dogs by disguising the scent of cocaine, except in this case it's keeping me from going blind. Oh well, if I never post again you all will know what happened to me.

It's not me, it's her.