I would have posted before but I've had a few problems with the site recently, which I only just fixed this morning. But I did want to commemorate Jesus Day (a/k/a Christmas) with the following stories.
The first one is about a Christian pastor who was sponsoring a "Mr. Heterosexual" contest, where contestants will tear Oprah magazines, play "Name that Potato Chip" blindfolded, discuss the best use of duct tape and display a talent. I'm sure the talent will be something special like farting "Shall We Gather at the River" or belching the Ten Commandments.
The event will also feature an appearance by a man who once lived the "homosexual lifestyle," but has been freed through Jesus Christ. Oh goody. Because nothing really expresses the love and compassion of Jesus more than displaying a gay man as some sort of circus freak show alongside some awful Mr. Heterosexual contest. Fantastic.
The second Christ-tastic story comes via a new Christian video game that allows players to smite their opponents, as long as they have enough faith. The action/adventure game is built on the premise that one can do all things through Christ who gives one strength. Including, apparently, the ability to shoot lightening in order to kill..., err, smite your foes.
And if a player's faith gets too low, then they can pick up one of the many scrolls conveniently scattered throughout the game in order to renew their faith and continue their journey. Which is an odd contradiction since I always thought of faith as a steadfast belief in something you couldn't necessarily prove or see. Kind of like having the faith in finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
You can almost hear the baby Jesus crying.
1 comment:
hey man - my band is playing kimo's in san francisco on january 15th. i humbly invite you out to come hear the music.
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