Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I Need An Alcohol Swab

A while back, I visited my old Denver hood to attend my former roommate's wedding in Breckenridge. A couple of good friends offered to let me stay at their homes (thanks again), and I ended up staying at the home of a good friend/former co-worker who was also attending the wedding. Since I only needed a place for one night (he was out of town), I took him up on his offer and decided to crash at his house.

Now I am not one to complain about a person's hospitality, but I felt compelled to comment on what I discovered there. In fact, I had to take a picture of it because 1,000 words isn't enough to describe it.




Now let's review the contents of the bedside table. Alarm clock and beside lamp ... check. Book ... pretty standard. Shoe horn. Hmmm. A shoe horn?! What the fuck kind of statement is he trying to make?

It's made even more disconcerting when you take a closer look and notice that the title of the book lying next to said shoe horn is "Drinking, Smoking & Screwing." I'm shocked that he had the good sense to hide the tub of KY Jelly that I'm sure was also resting there before I arrived. Unless, of course, he finished it up before I showed up. I feel dirty just thinking about it.

Okay Denver friends, can you guess whose house this is?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was wondering when you were going to post this. The shoe horn kills me. Goulet!

David James said...

Jesus, why not place Magnum condoms on the bedside stand while you're at it, AH?

David James said...

I figured that referring to him as AH would be better than A-Train. Or I could simply use his complete name since everyone knows to whom I am referring.