United Ramblings

I’m flying again, which can only mean one thing -- time for some more random, nonsensical observations from 30,000 feet ….

* As much as I love to look at Scarlett Johansson, I just cannot bring myself to watch “The Island” as it plays on the plane. Putting aside the fact that all air flight movies go through some sort of weird sanitation process before being screening (translation: no boobies), it just looks like a horrible mashup of “Logan’s Run” and “Minority Report.” And now it appears that there are a couple of separate Ewan McGregors running around in the movie like some sort of bad homage to “Face Off.”

* Fifteen minutes of non-stop turbulence. Jesus-fucking-Christ … is there some way to fly from DC to California that does not involve traversing the Colorado mountain range and subjecting us to turbulence? Seriously, this shit is getting old.

* In order to help her rise from her chair, some woman sitting behind me keeps doing pull-ups on my seat, causing me to pitch backwards like I’m on some sort of goddamned roller coaster. Hey lady, would it kill you to say “excuse me” before giving me whiplash?

* It appears that I will be traveling to St. Louis and Denver on alternating weeks through the balance of the year for work. (God, I must have done something pretty shitty in a past life to deserve this.) It hasn’t been formally presented to me as such, but I figure that was for fear I would rent an AK-47 and go Tim Carrier on someone’s ass. While I have lots of friends in Denver, I only know BHug in Shit Louis. So if anyone can recommend anything fun to do in the Show Me state, please pipe up.

Lastly, thanks again for VMD and D-Rek for showing me a great time on Friday night. Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t a “Let’s-Blow-$241,000-at-Scores” night (evidently that’s reserved for bigwigs), but it was a fun night nonetheless. Also, thanks again to the Davis family for putting me up (and putting up with me) this weekend. Thanks again, bro.