As I was browsing iTunes the other day looking for the “Best of Foghat” anthology, I came across the “Celebrity Playlist” section where, as the name suggests, various musicians, actors, etc. compile a list of their favorite music. What caught my attention was not the great compilations of Chuck D or George Clinton. It wasn’t even William Shatner, who had the audacity to add 5 of his own songs to his 13-song playlist, which I’m pretty sure is the definition of chutzpah. This is the same person who described Ben Fold as, “my personal genius,” and whose liner note for Eminem was simply, “he’s different.” Ahh, you always had a way with words, Bill.
Rather, it was Sharon Stone’s collection caught my eye. When I saw her writhing around naked in “Basic Instinct,” the only thing I could think was -- “wow, I wonder what time type of music does she like?” And lo and behold, my question was finally answered. Below is her playlist, which includes some fantastic “celebrity notes” in addition to the list of actual songs:
Track 1. “Change,” Tracy Chapman - “I guess I love this song because God made me change.”
You would think that parents, family and friends would play a larger role than some God, but what do I know.
Track 2. “I Won’t Dance,” Blossom Dearie - “This song has real old school verve.”
She’s already seems to be running out of descriptions, and she’s only on song #2.
Track 3. “Just Like a Woman,” Bob Dylan - From the time I was a young girl, this song made me feel in touch with my woman-ness.”
Nothing like an overrated, gravely voiced folk musician to make one feel more like a blossoming young woman.
Track 4. “Spirit in the Dark,” Aretha Franklin - “Aretha came from church, so she knows how to sing from her soul for real.”
Thank you for the statement in the damned obvious. God, you are retarded.
Track 5. “Und Wenn Eid Lied,” Sohne Mannheims - “These guys’ voices are alluring and sexy and eerie in a way that’s almost scary to me.”
I guess you have to throw in a song from an artsy, Hun musical group to show how diverse your musical tastes. Personally, I would have opted for Kraftwerk or, perhaps, Rammstein, but oh well.
Track 6. “Hold On,” Tom Waits - “Tom Waits is the Humphrey Bogart of music.”
I can’t believe she’s actually writing this stuff. Or that anyone is.
Track 7. “Guess Who I Saw Today,” Nancy Wilson - “This is the quintessential song of all time sung by the quintessential singer.”
Most experts usually cite this song as the most quintessential song of all time. I know I do.
Tack 8. “Fucking You Tonight,” The Notorious B.I.G. (featuring R. Kelly) - “For me, Biggie Smalls was the most talented rap musician/composer ever. That’s it.”
Okay, I have to call bullshit here. There’s no way that she’s ever listened to Biggie Smalls in her life. And I’m pretty sure that Sharon Stone would rather listen to the death rattle of her favorite pet than listen to rap music.
Track 9. “I’d Rather Go Blind,” Etta James - “This is the way I feel the blues.”
Honestly, I cannot think of a woman who’s whiter and is more lacking of soul than Sharon Stone.
Track 10. “Goin’ Back,” Dusty Springfield - “What a voice.”
Yes, ladies and gentlemen -- THE Dusty Springfield. Seriously, since I had no idea who this was, I looked her up in Wikipedia, which had the following entry: “In all aspects of her career, but especially in the studio, Dusty was emotionally rigid - a notorious perfectionist and, rightly or wrongly, she was soon labeled as "difficult" a "prima donna." Clearly a case of being attracted to you opposite personality.
Track 11. “Bridge Over Troubled Waters,” Aretha Franklin - “To me, Aretha singing this Simon and Garfunkel song was the voice of what was lost when we lost the Kennedys and King.”
This sounds like an eighth grader wrote this. Again, I refuse to believe she’s writing this stuff.
Track 12. “Because of You,” Kelly Clarkson - “I love that this girl had the guts to take her talent and fame and give the world a song that says it’s okay to say openly, “I will not be the subject of domestic violence.’”
You know, I seem to have forgotten all the songs that say it’s okay to say that “I am the subject of domestic violence.” I really don’t recall that the message of Prodigy’s cheerful “Smack My Bitch Up” was wildly embraced by the general public. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that that there are no songs that say domestic violence is cool.
Track 13. “What’s Going On,” Marvin Gaye - “This is the most healing song I know.”
Great song … great singer … asinine comment.
Tomorrow ~ Don Knotts' favorite funk songs of all time.
3 comments:
Shhh, don't use my real first name!
The thought had crossed my mind ... and I know she's a big supporter of AIDS research (as opposed to our current administration), so she's probable a decent person.
Given that, I would otherwise give her the benefit of the doubt (or at least some).
But when I got to the comment about rapper Notorious B.I.G., I could only presume that: (a) she's completely full of shit, or (b) someone else is writing this stuff for her. In either event, I found myself discounting much of what was said in her celebrity notes as a result.
In addition, it's probably true that I'm not a very nice person.
... and thanks for using my nickname. Jesus, why not just post my SS# and cell number?
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