Sunday, November 19, 2006

Tom Cruise is a Giant

If you're like me, you waited breathlessly all weekend for updates and photos from the big Tom Cruise-Kate Holmes wedding this weekend.

Okay, truth be told, I really didn't give this non-event one second of thought this weekend. Sure, it's not often when a famous celebrity marries his third beard, but still I have a lot of better things to do. Like play rugby. Although this time I didn't make the same mistake as the prior weekend, where I was seriously undercaffeinated for the game (although I didn't think I would play then with my busted up thumb). Instead, I was amped up with caffeine (4 shots of espresso, a couple of Red Bulls and a Coca Cola Zero). I was also fitted with a handy new thumb protector. Actually, it was the splint that my doctor issued me, which I cut down to make less bulky. Pretty neat, eh? Anyway, it worked well and I had played just fine up until the time in the game that my heart actually exploded. Oh well.

Anyway, I've posted this weeding photo to note the amazing growth spurt of Tom Cruise. You remember those kids in high school that grew about 5 inches in one year? Well apparently Tom Cruise just entered puberty and hit the same growth spurt. Either that or he's standing on the backs of his Scientologist groomsmen. Because there's no fucking way that he's taller than her, as evidenced by the following photo:

Honestly, she must be knee-deep in a whole to stand eye level with her diminutive, nut-job husband.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ugh, I never liked Tom Cruise. I saw him in the L.A. airport years before he was "famous" He is a tiny man about 5'4 but with a massive ego.
Katie must of went through some major Scientology brainwashing.

Glad to hear your back at the rugby!

Anonymous said...

oops, *you're*

Smartypants said...

She's so young. She knows not what she does.

David James said...

I love the fact that she's the one with the crazy look in her eyes, while he's the one with the "what the fuck am I doing" look on his face.

Anonymous said...

He looks constipated.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how you come up with this stuff, but it's SO funny!