Hump Day

I think I am starting to crack working from home. I've actually named the herd of 2 to 3 deer that regularly run through my yard right in front of my office. This is "Bojangles" (what did you expect, Rudolph?).

She (or he) has two friends - "Muffin" and "Grandmaster Flash" - that also regularly traipse through my yard. They're great pets because I don't have to feed them and they pretty much take care of themselves. How convenient is that?

So I went and saw my orthopedic specialist who prescribed an MRI for my still-not-improving shoulder. Which was fine because I'm not exactly thrilled with having a left arm like Kevin Spacey's character in "The Usual Suspects." Actually, it's not that bad but still it's been pretty bothersome and some things irritate the shit out of it.

So I called my health care provider who shall remain nameless (hint: unscramble the following letters to spell their name: "Untied"). The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Okay, so what's the MRI going to cost me? I presume it's covered under the Premium health plan."
Untied: "Well, it looks like you'll have to pay a $250 deductible plus 10% of the cost of the procedure. Insurance will pick up the other 90%."
Me: "I'm sorry, I must have had a bad connection. It sounded like you said that I'd have to pay about $400 for a simple MRI."
Untied: "Actually it will probably be closer to $500."

Sadly, they are serious. I ask myself, why the fuck am I paying for health insurance? I might as well self-insure. I'm sure an unemployed homeless person would have to pay less for a goddamned MRI. And at the end of the day, I'm going to shell out $500 and all I'm going to get is someone telling me that my shoulder is messed up and I should lay off the rugby and start taking ibuprofen. Thanks for the expert advice.