Dude, Where's My Inheritance?

In the latest news of the fantastic, Hotel magnate Barron Hilton recently announced that he will be screwing over his whore grandchildren by leaving 97% of his wealth to charity. This will obviously cut the fortune his heirs would have otherwise received. Which means that granddaughter Paris Hilton, who once stood to inherit $100+ million by some accounts, could end up with a measly $5 million or so. Barron’s designated charity funds clean water in Africa, education for blind children and housing for the mentally ill.

There is no truth to the rumor that Paris Hilton was spotted on a plane to Africa donning blackface and sporting a seeing-eye Chihuahua in an effort to recoup some of her inheritance.

I know that I had vowed at one point never to post another story about that wonk-eyed, herpes-infested, waste of skin ... but it's really a fantastic story and gave me a nice excuse to post the infamous Paris Doll photo. So it's really a win-win from my perspective. The only thing that would have made this story better is if she were somehow mauled and eaten by an angry tiger. But this is still pretty good.