Thursday, September 18, 2008

Punisher? I Barely Know Her!

As further evidence that California courts are not soft on celebrity crime, it was recently announced that actor Thomas Jane plead no contest to drunk driving and speeding after he was caught driving at 120 mph on a California highway. Police stopped the actor twice on Interstate 5 last March for speeding. After a third stop, he was finally arrested for driving while drunk.

The star of acclaimed movies such as "Zack and Reba" and Jonni Nitro" had the book thrown at him as he was sentenced to: (1) one full year of probation (that's like 12 whole months of not fucking up), (2) $1,700 in fines (which is at least 0.000000003% of what he made for "Spider-man 3"), and (3) court-ordered alcohol abuse classes (seriously, do you remember what a drag school was?) Damn, California courts dropped the hammer on you, my man.

Oh, and two other alcohol and drug charges and two speeding tickets were dismissed. So not only are California courts harsh, they're also merciful at the same time. You go judge!

So remember this important lesson you celebrities: if you drive almost twice the legal speed limit while drunk and high, you will ultimately be arrested and made to pay a modest sum of money in order to get out of trouble. Imagine what would have happened to him if he had plead guilty instead of no contest? Seriously celebrities, don't even try to get away with that shit in California.

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