Go Bears!

My California Golden Bears, ranked #6 in the nation, beat #11 Oregon in Eugene, Oregon for the first time since 1987. It was a fantastic game which went right down to the very end. I swear the last 15 minutes of the game aged me about two years.

I figured with the road win, Cal might move up a spot. But then it seemed like this was "College Football Upset Weekend." There were numerous upsets among the Top 20, which will only help Cal's ranking:

#3 Oklahoma lost to Colorado
#4 Florida lost to Auburn
#5 West Virginia lost to #18 Southern Florida
#7 Texas lost to Kansas State
#10 Rutgers lost to Maryland
#13 Clemson lost to Georgia Tech

Jesus Christ, Cal could be as high as #3 with all the losses! They haven't been ranked this high since they were #4 in December 2004 which Cal fans will long remember as the season they got fucked out of a BCS bowl game as a result of the obscene lobbying by Texas (don't get me started). Assuming Cal doesn't stumble the rest of the way (and that's a huge assumption), Cal's game against USC could have national implications. Win it and Cal would likely go to the BCS championship. Lose it and Cal would have to "settle" for the Rose Bowl. The last time Cal was in the Rose Bowl, it was 1958 and my uncle Frank (who's now 70) was the starting offensive tackle for Cal.

September Statistics

September flew by for me, so here's a quick summary of how I spent my month:

26: Number of Rugby World Cup (RWC) games I have watched.
6: Number of RWC games I have yet to watch in order to be fully caught up (if I stay up all night tonight, I can get caught up I think).
7: Number of wineries that I went wine tasting to last Friday (no, I wasn't driving).
24: Number of days that my sister came out to do research in California.
40: Approximate number of bottles of wine that were consumed during said visit (this is a conservative number).
1: Number of wine glasses broken.
1,035: Number of expletives uttered (again, this is a conservative number).
8.35: Average hours of sleep my sister gets (seriously, who sleeps 8 hours a day?).
10: Number of episodes of "Arrested Development" which we watched over the past week.
0: Number of times that I dreaded her visit and wished she were home already.

We had a really nice visit, she heads back on Saturday and I'm a little sad. It was a good trip (although my memory might be distorted a bit by the wine), but it will be nice to get my house back to normal. For now, I think I will console myself with the New Zealand vs. Scotland rugby match and 8 hours of sleep (whatever that is).

Is It October Yet?

I am alive and well kiddies. I've been enjoying the past couple of days without my crazy boss and catching up on all the game for the Rugby World Cup. I've actually been watching an average of about one or two per day over the past two weeks, which has been great but really eating into my work productivity and blogging. For those that care (i.e., no one), Ireland has been shite the entire tournament, which has really bummed me out. Watching them squeak past Romania and Namibia was embarrassing, and then we got blown out by France. Ouch. Oh well, there's always 2011.

I've also been preoccupied with my sister's visit, which is in its third week. She's been out doing research and so far, the trip has gone really well. She's been gone all day -- thereby allowing me time to catch up on the rugby -- and has been really easy going. The several cases of wine that we've gone through hasn't hurt either. Anyway, she leaves soon which is kind of sad since it's been a good trip and we really haven't spent this much time together since we were in high school (class of '85, fuck yeah!). I was fearing the worst, like she would burn down my house after falling asleep while smoking in bed or inviting over a bunch of tranny burlesque performers after a late night show, but it's really been uneventful (other than the plentiful deposit of empty wine bottles in the recycling bin). There are a few days left for her to fulfill her manifest destiny, so perhaps I shouldn't speak too soon.

Oh well, anyway I am alive and doing well. Certainly better than Courtney Love who appears to have burned her mouth on a piping hot apple pie from McDonald's. Ouch! Be careful next time Courtney!

Cheney: Iraq is a "Quagmire"

Below is some seriously fucked up video footage of Dick Cheney explaining the difficulty in invading Iraq. In this interview from April 15th, 1994, Cheney reveals the reasons why invading Baghdad and toppling Saddam Hussein wouldn't be a great idea. He also stipulates that "not very many" American soldiers' lives were worth losing to take out Saddam during the Gulf War.

Here's a partial transcript of his interview:

"It's a quagmire if you go that far and tried to take on Iraq. The other thing is casualties. Everyone was impressed with the fact that we were able to do our job with as few casualties as we had. But for the 146 Americans killed in action and their families, it wasn't a cheap war. And the question for the President in terms of whether we went on to Baghdad and took additional casualties in an effort to get Saddam Hussein was 'how many more dead Americans is Saddam worth?' and our judgment was 'not very many' and I think that we got it right."



It's hard to believe that a man as principled as Dick Chaney would have a fundamental change of heart just six short years later after GW was in office. So I guess by "not very many," Chaney misspoke and really meant to say "3,000 more casualties."

And I'm sure it's a total coincidence that the very next year, Cheney -- who had no prior business experience -- left the Department of Defense to become the CEO of Halliburton Co., one of the biggest oil-services companies in the world. Under Cheney's leadership, Halliburton moved up from 73rd to 18th on the Pentagon's list of top contractors. The company garnered $2.3 billion in U.S. government contracts in 1995, which almost doubled the $1.2 billion it earned from the government previously. According to the Center for Public Integrity, under Cheney's leadership the company also received $1.5 billion worth of assistance that year from government-sponsored agencies such as OPIC (Overseas Private Investment Corporation) and the Export-Import Bank, a huge increase compared to the $100 million that the company had received in federal loans and guarantees in the five years prior to Cheney's arrival. Years later, during a vice presidential debate with Joe Lieberman in the 2000 campaign, Cheney increduously asserted that "the government has absolutely nothing to do" with his financial success as chairman of Halliburton Co.

Cheney's integrity can also be seen as Halliburton honorably plead guilty to criminal charges that Halliburton *allegedly* violated a U.S. ban on exports to Libya by selling Col. Qaddafi six pulse neutron generators, devices that can be used to detonate nuclear weapons for which Halliburton paid a stiff $3.8 million penalty to settle the *alleged* violations. Hello, that's almost a FOUR MILLION DOLLAR penalty they had to pay. And you can bet that they learned their lesson and that that would be the last time that Halliburton ever tried to pull anything shady with the U.S. Federal Government ever again.

"Really Honey, You Shouldn't Have ..."

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Jon Stewart to the Rescue

In the latest news of the great, Jon Stewart is set to host the 80th Academy Awards in February. The host of "The Daily Show" took charge of the Oscars for the first time when he presented the 78th Academy Awards. Telecast producer Gilbert Cates says, "Jon was a terrific host for the 78th Awards. He is smart, quick, funny, loves movies and is a great guy. What else could one ask for?"

[ Editor's note - If Stewart is so "smart, quick and funny" explain to me why where we subjected to Ellen DeGeneres last year? ]

Stewart adds, "I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm!"

Of course this gives me the perfect opportunity to post a totally unrelated YouTube clip (a/k/a "blog filler") of Jon Stewart sorting out U.S. foreign policy in the Middle East. Ta da!

I Am Frightened ...

So I just found out that my department will be having a mandatory retreat in the Ozarks in early November. Yes, David James is headed back to Missouri, kiddos. Hello freezing weather and awkward three hour bus ride with the Bipolar Bear. God, I am not looking forward to this trip and am positively frightened about spending 48 hours in what I can only imagine is a scene out of Deliverance. God help us all.

Other random things that scare me:

* Ray Lewis (circa 1999)
* Naked guys who eat tofu hot dogs
* Amy Winehouse
* This catfish:

Cal 45, Tennessee 31

My California Golden Bears avenged last year's season-opening loss to Tennessee by trashing them 45-31 yesterday in Berkeley. In the game, DeSean Jackson had this insane 77 yard punt return, where he repeatedly juked his way free in a series of moves on the way to the end zone. And despite Brent Musberger's atrocious call ("Shake and bake!"), I could watch this video over and over again.

And in fact, I have.

Week In Review

Wow, what a crazy week this has been. On the bright side, I have friends that are having babies and quitting jobs they loathe (congratulations again to Kate and JP, respectively). On the negative side, others of us have been dealing with sick parents, crazy bosses, insanely hot weather and jobs that they loath (but unfortunately cannot quit).

Speaking of jobs, I returned this week after a 24-hour trip to STL, which included a stilted 3-hour (!) dinner with my boss followed by an inane 6-hour meeting the following day. It was during the same trip where two co-workers were almost brought to tears by my insane boss. He also made another person almost miss his plane flight out of St. Louis so he could visit his family for one day before he heading to Singapore for a week to work on some crazy deal. My boss kept him at the office an extra half hour -- while a cab was outside waiting to take him to the airport -- talking about non-substantive stuff that could have been handled over the phone on the way to the airport.

You can't even comprehend the feeling I have each time when I leave -- it's an odd combination of utter joy, sheer exhaustion, couple with a significant dose of disgust (from the food, the people, the airport, the weather). It's like that scene from Shawshank Redemption when Andy Dufresne escaped from Shawshank Prison -- "Andy crawled to freedom through five-hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want too." Leaving STL is really very similar to that experience, it's shitty and no one else wants to imagine what it's like. The only thing missing is the part where I retire to Mexico and live off a boat there.