In a final sign that Hollywood has run out of all creative ideas, it was confirmed recently that two shitty, yesteryear TV shows would soon be turned into feature films.20th Century Fox's film version of the 80's soap "Dallas" is heating up in the casting stakes reports Variety: John Travolta has an offer to star as J.R. Ewing; Jennifer Lopez has been offered the part of Sue Ellen Ewing; Luke Wilson is negotiating to play Bobby Ewing; and Shirley MacLaine is up for the part of Miss Ellie Ewing.
Not wanting to leave any classic show untouched, it was also reported by Variety that "Welcome Back Kotter" is also being made into a movie, with Ice Cube taking over for Gabe Kaplan in the starring role.
What the hell .... where's the "What's Happening" remake? When are "One Day at a Time" and "Chico and the Man" coming to the big screen?
Why not save the millions in producing what are sure to be shitty films when you can simply relive crappy TV shows by watching their original DVD? Shit, I would rather watch a remake of the rape scene from “Deliverance” or the answering maching scene from “Swingers” -- which are the two most painful scenes in movie history -- than either of these two movies. Watching Paris Hilton shopping or Dick Cheney pleasuring himself to Internet porn for 2 hours would be more enjoyable.
4 comments:
If I'm not mistaken, "Dick Cheney pleasuring himself for two hours" is another remake.....yes? I think the original starred Dick Van Patten.
I think that was Dick Van Dyke. All those Dicks start to blur together after a while.
uh oh.. i'm planning on watching the Dallas remake.. i'm still wondering, "who shot JR?"
i think it was Ice Cube. oh wait, wrong remake.
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