No apologies ... no funny YouTube clips ... Instead, on with the quick 5-minute synopsis of what's up with me.* I started physical therapy on my shoulder this past week. Long story short, it's messed up from years of weight lifting and rugby (AC joint sprain, scar tissue, and likely rotator cuff/labrum damage). Fortunately, it will be just fine with some PT, which is good since I need to defend my rugby team MVP award. However, I'm starting to think that my physical therapist might be a bit of a sadist. She seemed nice enough at first, but halfway through the session, she's got me in some sort of crazy arm bar and she's digging her thumb into my shoulder like she's trying to push a cork back into a wine bottle. Jesus, you would have thought I asked for a happy ending or something. Anyway, I wouldn't disclose anything other than name, rank and serial number, so she finally gave after what seemed like 1/2 hour of torture. I'm sure this week she'll try something new, like bamboo under the fingernails which she'll disguise as some sort of acupuncture.
* I went to two baseball games this past week (thanks JFS and CRM for tickets) and saw five future Hall-of-Famers play - Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Ken Griffey Jr., Alex Rodriguez, and Derek Jeter. I also saw a couple of borderline candidates (Jorge Posada, Johnny Damon, Joe Torre) and a bunch of all-time stars (e.g., Willie Mays, Willie McCovey, Juan Marichal). Which is great because there's no way on God's green earth that I'm shelling out $600 to sit in the bleachers during the baseball All Star game. That is highway-fucking robbery. It's a goddamned exhibit game, folks. No sane person should have to drop a grand for some crappy All Star game that they can watch on TV. Jesus christ are the tickets also made of gold and entitle us entry to Willie Wonka's chocolate factory? Where's my golden goose?
* Lastly, I'd like to wish Mr. Chips a happy 12th birthday. I'm not really certain what his exact year or date of birth is, so I picked June 26th out of my ass. But the little fella could use some cheer after the year he's had -- IRS audit for failing to report income and file 6 years of back taxes ... losing his tenure due to plagiarism and other unspoken scandals at the university ... battling numerous chemical dependencies and suffering numerous relapses ... not to mention being the subject of a bitter custody dispute. Fortunately, the parties were able to put it all behind them (he said "behind") and actually brought Mr. Chips to New York this past year. Here are a couple of G-rated pictures of Mr. Chips from our April trip:
Here's a photo of Mr. Chips, who was exhausted after 7 blocks of driving. Come to think of it, the three Mai Thais he had at lunch probably didn't help matters either.
Here's another photo of Mr. Chips, who's now awake and evidently ready for a little action.
Happy birthday, buddy! Daddy and ..., uhhh, daddy are very proud of you! Next year -- Amsterdam!
6 comments:
Mr. Chips would thank you in person but due to the stringent custody conditions, you'll have to settle for a note from me. Which reminds me - you're about 50 bananas behind in monkey support. Don't make me call animal protective services!
I should also point out that said custody arrangement also calls for strict non-disclosure provisions as well as a reasonable visitation schedule. Lastly, I would also note that Mr. Chips has been earning wages as both a semi-nude, underwear model and a part-time sushi chef, both of which are strictly prohibited until he reaches 18.
Call my lawyer! Oh wait, that's me. Never mind.
why is my crotch on your blog? do I get some kind of residual for that appearance?
Uhhh, I think Mr. Chips was the one that got a residual.
Ewwwww. Im blushing now.
Mr. Chips is wearing a pearl necklace and *you're* the one that's blushing?
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