Carl Lewis - The Baddest Dude Alive?

I never bought the old "Carl Lewis is gay" conspiracy. Sure he wasn't as macho as other celebrity athletes, but so what. Prince never struck me as the most masculine dude in the world either, but he macked everything that walked.

After all these years of whispers and innuendo, it's pretty safe to say that my opinion has been fully vindicated given this video evidence I unearthed. Now some conspiracy theorists will point to his one-piece unitard, effeminate gestures, and falsetto voice as irrefutable proof of his orientation.

Personally, I think the video proves the exact opposite.

* First, it should be noted that he's the only man working out in a gym with a bunch of women -- hello, this is every straight man's fantasy!

* Second, at the end of the video, Carl is seen being escorted by a white woman into a sauna. What's the old expression - "If this sauna is a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'!"?

[ N.B. I will be the first to admit that his saunamate is a bit on the mature side, but I'm guessing he has some sort of kinky GILF fetish. Even more macho. ]

* Lastly, and most importantly, no gay man would be caught dead in that horrible outfit. belt? Sweet Jesus, a black unitard with a white workout belt? Gianni Versace would roll over in his motherfucking grave if he saw this fashion statement.

The defense rests. The verdict? Carl Lewis -- Guilty of being a bad-ass motherfucker.