It's Over

Yes, I know that we still have 19 days until the election, but the fact is that this race is all but officially over: Barack Obama will be the 44th President of the United States.

Fivethirtyeight.com has Obama with a 95% winning percentage. With leads in traditional Republican states such as Florida, North Carolina and Virginia, Obama's lead is almost insurmountable at this point in time. McCain has to produce a video of Obama wearing a turban and a "Free Iraq" t-shirt while raping a white woman. Absent that, November 4 looks to be a landslide victory.

Personally, I have a lot of mixed emotions about the election at this point in time. I am *really* excited that the McCain-Palin combo is not going to be leading our government for the next 4-8 years. I am surprised that this country is actually about to elect a person with brown skin president, although it took a highly educated (Republican translation "elitist" and "well spoken") and superior candidate to do so.

At the same time, I am outraged that we've had to deal with stupid, racist shit like this in the campaign:

And let's be honest, I am also a little nervous as to what's going to happen the next four years since Obama has been handed a huge mess by GW to clean up. Seriously, things are fucked up beyond comprehension and no matter what Obama does, it's still likely to be a mess in four years. Don't get me wrong, I but into his leadership and vision and all that, I just know it's going to be a tough road, even more so with opponents eagerly looking to say "I told you so" when even magic pixie dust couldn't make things right.

And at the same time, I'm kind of sad because I will miss stupid shit like this:



Goodbye Sarah Palin. I'm looking forward to never hearing your voice again.

Palin: Being Gay Is A Choice

Despite all the scientific evidence to the contrary, Sarah Palin still believes that homosexuals choose their sexual orientation. In yet another video clip as a result of her recent interview with Katie Couric (as a side note, how long did she interview her for)

Palin: "I have, one of my absolute best friends for the last 30 years who happens to be gay."

Translation: "I will now make up a story about a token gay friend. Ewww!"

Palin: "And I love her dearly."

Translation: "And Jesus hates her dearly."

Palin: "And she is not my "gay friend."

Translation: "Now Katie, what is that PC term that folks use to describe female homosexuals? I know I shouldn't use the expression "bull dyke" but it's the only thing I can think of."

Palin: "She is one of my best friends who happens to have made a choice that isn’t a choice that I have made."

Translation: Despite all scientific evidence to the contrary, I believe she chose to be gay. I also believe in talking snakes and that men and dinosaurs roamed the Earth together 6,000 years ago. Now mybe if she were cuter and thinner, she would attract a man that would cure her of her 'choice.' Oh well, I'll pray for her."

Palin: "But I am not gonna judge people."

Translation: "But Jesus will. Prepare to burn in Hell, lesbo."

I also love the part where she says "I don't know what prayers are going to be answered and not answered." Whew, that's a huge relief. Because otherwise you would be some sort of God-like entity, which scares me almost as much as you being president does.

I honestly do not believe a single word that this woman just said. Seriously, I thought "thou shall not lie" was one of the Ten Commandments. Perhaps the Wasilla Bible Church changed that commandment to "thou shall not have butt sex with another man."

Anyway ... the whole "gay choice/screw what science says" approach she employs is so Medieval and outdated. Does she seriously believe that? In his comedy CD "Shut Up You Fucking Baby," David Cross has a great bit where he dispels the scenario where someone would choose to be gay (and later discusses the stereotypical, effeminate "gay" voice. Warning: NSFW language):

"Alask's Proximity to Russia Certainly Does Give Me Foreign Policy Experience"

This video is jawdropping. Katie Couric gave Palin an opportunity to defend her widely ridiculed prior claims that Alaska’s proximity to Russia and Canada provides her with some sort of foreign policy experience. My favorite parts:

- "Our next door neighbors are foreign countries — they’re in the state that I am the executive of." Jesus, she talks like a 15-year old.

- She claims that Putin flies over Alaska which, I guess, suddenly makes her Henry Kissinger. Who knew?

God, please let this nightmare end. I promise to be good (I'll even stop stalking Scarlett Johansson). Just, please make this all go away.

Palin, McCain ... Then Pray For Rain

Over recent weeks, much has been made of the fact that Sarah Palin attended 5 colleges over 6 years. So below is a comparison of the educational backgrounds of what will be out next President and Vice President (thanks to VMD for the source):

Barack Obama:
Occidental College - Two years
Columbia University - B.A. political science with a specialization in international relations
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Joe Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in history and B.A. in political science
Syracuse University College of Law - J.D.

vs.

John McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank 894 of 899

Sarah Palin (a/k/a Caribou Barbie):
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general studies
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in journalism

And just for shits and grins, here's the Libertarian ticket:

Bob Barr:
University of Southern California - B.A.
George Washington University - master's degree in international journalism
Georgetown University - J.D.

Wayne Allyn Root:
Columbia University - B.A. political science (I don't know who is either but found out that he was in the same class as Obama)

So it turns out that Palin only attended 4 different colleges -- not 5 --- over that fateful 6 year period of time. Obama, on the other hand, only went to Occidental for 2 years before he dropped out. And by my count, Obama and Biden went to as many schools (5 different schools) as did McCain and Palin. Magna Cum Laude vs. 894/899? This all really seems like a wash to me.