Hump Day

I think I am starting to crack working from home. I've actually named the herd of 2 to 3 deer that regularly run through my yard right in front of my office. This is "Bojangles" (what did you expect, Rudolph?).

She (or he) has two friends - "Muffin" and "Grandmaster Flash" - that also regularly traipse through my yard. They're great pets because I don't have to feed them and they pretty much take care of themselves. How convenient is that?

So I went and saw my orthopedic specialist who prescribed an MRI for my still-not-improving shoulder. Which was fine because I'm not exactly thrilled with having a left arm like Kevin Spacey's character in "The Usual Suspects." Actually, it's not that bad but still it's been pretty bothersome and some things irritate the shit out of it.

So I called my health care provider who shall remain nameless (hint: unscramble the following letters to spell their name: "Untied"). The conversation went something like this:

Me: "Okay, so what's the MRI going to cost me? I presume it's covered under the Premium health plan."
Untied: "Well, it looks like you'll have to pay a $250 deductible plus 10% of the cost of the procedure. Insurance will pick up the other 90%."
Me: "I'm sorry, I must have had a bad connection. It sounded like you said that I'd have to pay about $400 for a simple MRI."
Untied: "Actually it will probably be closer to $500."

Sadly, they are serious. I ask myself, why the fuck am I paying for health insurance? I might as well self-insure. I'm sure an unemployed homeless person would have to pay less for a goddamned MRI. And at the end of the day, I'm going to shell out $500 and all I'm going to get is someone telling me that my shoulder is messed up and I should lay off the rugby and start taking ibuprofen. Thanks for the expert advice.

My Week in a Nutshell

A lot has transpired in the past week. Basically, my company shut down the satellite office in San Francisco where I was working. This sucked for a number of reasons:

1) I had to pack up my office and I am a total pack rat.
2) I don't have a home office at home. I don't have a desk, dedicated work area ... hell, I don't even have a home phone or Internet connection. To date, I've been rely on the charity of a neighbor that has graciously donated free WiFi to me. And by "graciously" I mean "unknowingly."
3) I *really* like working in the city and love the people, pace, restaurants, etc. that comes with it. Yeah, I could have done without the tofu hot dog experience, but all in all I far prefer working in an office as compared to home.

So I've worked from home all this week (rather than drive 80+ minutes to our Silicon Valley offices) and, so far, working from home has been a bit of a challenge. Sure the commute is a piece of cake, but I've not been properly set up to work from home. I'm sure that working from my couch hunched over my coffee table hasn't been fantastic for my back. It also doesn't help that I seem to eat every 20 minutes on cue.

Yesterday, I finally fixed the situation by setting up the office, assembling a desk, setting up the computer, printer, etc. and establishing home phone service. This has pretty much eaten my work productivity, but the set up is pretty nice now. It's really quiet here and I've moved my work area away from the kitchen. It's in a corner of one of my bedrooms which overlooks some trees:



If you look closely, you can see that I'm browsing some non-work related website. Ahh, some things never change.

Back to work, at least for today. I head to DC/NY next week for my annual birthday debauchery trip with DerekB, VMD and Cap'n Tears. Hope to post something soon.

Bye Bye Birdie

Last night as I was making my way in the house, I found another dead bird on my front porch in almost the exact same spot as the one I found on Christmas. I thought the double homicide/suicide was a bit of an odd coincidence, so I decided to research the literary/dream symbolism of a dead bird. Perhaps there's a deeper meaning.

My rudimentary research indicated that the dead bird, as it appears in literature and in dreams, symbolizes "lamentation over lost innocence" (or "maidenhood"), as well as "lost love."

As much as I hate to disappoint my readers, I must admit that I lost my maidenhood a loooong time ago (sorry ladies). And I wouldn't call Scarlett Johansson dating Josh Hartnett "lost love," per se, although I guess that could change if she were to marry that loser.

Since that didn't really explain things much, I then began to ponder the "how" and "why" of it all. Most notably, "why am I getting weekly deliveries of dead birds on my goddamned front porch?" After considering the various possibilities, I concluded that one of the following was the answer:

Conclusion 1 - The roof of my house is made out of some mysterious, toxic substance which instantly kills birds on contact. Awesome. Now if I could only find some more of that goop to slather on Ann Coulter, I'd be very pleased.

Conclusion 2 - Some asshole is distributing dead birds in my neighborhood like some sort of fucking Johnny Appleseed. This would be equally awesome except for the fact that I'm the only one that appears to be regularly receiving these little gifts.

Conclusion 3 - A neighborhood cat is trying to curry favor with me by leaving me dead presents on my doorstep on a daily basis. How sweet. While I would prefer chocolates or flowers, I guess a dead bird would have to be considered a unique present. I can't honestly say I've ever received them before.

I'm going to have to choose conclusion 3 since it's the only one that will allow me to sleep at night.

Righteous!

One Week Until Christmas ....

Sorry for the delay in posting. I have been busy dealing with a bunch of stuff pertaining to the house, moving, work, etc., as well as struggling to configure and update a new work laptop after my old one died.

Anyway, to answer the various questions that have been asked over the past week or so:

* I officially move in on Wednesday
* The hot tub seats 7
* Sadly there is no stripper pole in the new house (sorry AJH)
* There are no new rugby injuries to report after Saturday's game
* For Christmas I would like world peace and Scarlett Johansson's virginity

Anyway .... I've always been a fan of those old Christmas specials that I watched as a child - "Charlie Brown Christmas," "A Year Without a Santa Claus" ... you name it. Well, except for that lame "Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey." Anyway I somehow stumbled across this video, which analyzes "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and illustrates what an asshole Santa Claus is. My favorite quote is when he tells Rudolph’s father that he "should be ashamed of yourself" for having a reindeer child with such a deformity.

I kind of knew that there was something wrong about him given the fact that Santa maintained a colony of slave...., uhh, I mean "indentured servant" elves. But I didn't realize what a tool he was before watching this video. Enjoy.

House Update

Below are some house photos which I was able to download from the former seller's agent website (long story). The active link I used to have no longer works since we are scheduled to close in a few days.

Anyway, here it is as the seller had it decorated. You will have to imagine (a) the removal of the yellow paint, and (b) the prominent glass storage case for my Beanie Baby collection. I'll probably have to convert one of the bedrooms for that purpose, but I'm otherwise open to ideas. And if you can suggest decorating ideas that incorporate milk crates and/or recycled cardboard, all the better...

Hello Bankruptcy

My counter-counter-offer was just accepted on this house. It's located in the Bay Area, which means I will be subsisting on a steady diet of Top Ramen and tap water for the foreseeable future. But at least you all have a place to crash next time you visit Northern California.

Seriously, I am a bit freaked out by it all but oh well. But I figure I've got an extra kidney, just in case I run short of cash. Home inspection is tomorrow. Wish me luck.