Happy Belated Thanksgiving

First and foremost, Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I’ve been at Disneyland for the past several days have been meaning to post, but I’ve been too busy and wiped out to post. I will say that people watching at Disneyland is almost as much fun as the park itself. There is no way to capture

Number of days spent in Anaheim - 3.75 days (Sunday night through Wednesday night)
Number of combined hours at the park - approximately 40.
Number of combined hours of sleep - approximately 25.
Number of calories consumed over the 3+ days - approximately 23,000.
Number of crying kids - 1,008.
Number of hot guys with ugly wives - 2.
Number of ugly guys with hot wives - easily over 100. (Someone help me understand this phenomenon)
Number of children presumably conceived after being slipped a roofie - see answer immediately preceding above.
Number of celebrities spotted - 2 (Seal and Heidi Klum)
Number of obvious strippers spotted - 2.
Number of guys clearly on steroids spotted - lost count.
Number of frosted mullets spotted - 1 (this mullet spotting is in the running for highlight of the trip).
Number of fake boobs spotted - uhh, I didn’t notice.
Number of time I rode on Pirates of the Caribbean - 3.
Number of times we rode “Autopia” (i.e., the go-cart attraction where kids get to actually drive the car) - 7.
Total number of churros consumed by the family - 6.
Total number of tacos consumed by me - also 6.
Most money spent on a single serving of plain coffee - $5 (includes commemorative plastic mug!).
Cost to rent an “electronic convenience vehicle” (i.e., driving device which helps the immobile get around the park) - $55.
Number of people spotted riding said “electronic convenience vehicle” - 50 (conservative estimate).
Number of annoying/harassing/demeaning email I got from my boss on Monday - I stopped counting at 12.
Number of my boss’ annoying/harassing/demeaning email to which I responded - 0.
Number of smile and happy memories - infinity*.

* Note: my editor made me insert that last item, insisting that there’s no way this blog goes IPO if I don’t clean it up and stop using terms such as “fuckwit” and “assmunch.”

Other random thoughts and observations ….

* While on the 4th or 5th go-cart ride, I noticed that the person in the car next t me was a middle-aged adult. Without a child with them. As in, he was driving the go-cart by himself. I was like “What the fuck are you doing? Do you not get enough time behind the wheel of an actual car as it is?” Jesus Christ, what is wrong with people?

* Visual highlight of the trip -- is it: (a) the hot woman in the tight t-shirt who just got drenched on the Splash Mountain ride, or (b) the middle-aged woman driving her electronic assistance vehicle wildly who crashed into a curb and almost lurched over the handlebars? I gotta go with the latter. That shit was fucking hi-larious. Top notch stuff.

* Flying on Thanksgiving is awesome. I flew out on Thursday around noon and it was fantastic. There are no lines, people are laid back and nice, and it is acceptable to drink early because it’s a holiday. Plus, flying out of Orange County/Santa Ana Airport is awesome.

(Side note: I refuse to call OC/SA Airport by its current name, “John Wayne Airport.” Similarly, I refuse to call “National Airport” in D.C. by its current name, “Ronald Reagan.” Fucking annoying.).