The Dark Night Review

So last night I became what was probably the 30 millionth person to see The Dark Knight, which was very, very good. Like everyone else, I thought Heath Ledger was amazing and shoe-in to garner award accolades. The Dark Knight is a great comic adaption, very dark and much more complex than your average comic-based movie.

Now I know it's a movie that is based on a comic book, so I accept the fact that I have to suspend disbelief and accept a few plot holes and goofs in the movie. And while I really enjoyed the movie, I am not sure it lives up to its Titantic-sized hype.

For example, IMDB has this as the highest rated film of all time. Now it was a fun movie, but seriously, the best of all time? Hello, have people already forgotten about Maid in Manhattan and Short Circuit 2? What is wrong with you people?

Other issues I had with the movie:

* I enjoyed the movie, but it was way too long. You could have easily cut out 20 minutes and tightened up the film. Of course, I might have already been fatigued by the seven (!) movie previews and six (!!) commercials beforehand.

* Maggie Gyllenhaall as the female love interest still didn't do it for me. Sure she was an improvement over Katie Holmes, but was Scarlett Johansson unavailable for the movie? However, if they rewrote the script so that the Rachel Dawes character gets attached by a bear, then I would have preferred that Paris Hilton be cast in the role.

* There were a bunch of small things that annoyed me. First, the mayor's eyes looked like he was wearing eye liner. I swear to God. It’s all I could focus on when he was on the screen. Also, Christian Bale’s voice when he was dressed as Batman bugged the shit out of me. And since when did Batman's costume go from tights and a cape to body armor? Hello, I liked it more last time when they called it “Iron Man” (which I actually liked more than the “Dark Knight”).

* At the end of the movie, the Joker protects himself using dogs. Dogs, really? Is that really supposed to stop anyone? Jesus, he’s Batman, not a postal employee. Batman fought ninjas in the first movie without any weapons and did just fine but now he can’t defend himself against three dogs.

* I sat in the 3rd row after showing up only 30 minutes early and there were a couple of scenes where I thought I was going to go insane trying to keep track what was going on. I realize that's my problem and not the movie's but still. Two weeks later and it’s still selling out on a Tuesday night. Insane.

Overall, it was a very good movie but I must say that if you take Heath Ledger out of it, it’s about the same as the first movie which was good but not great. Although if you replaced him with Cameron Diaz, I'm not certain I would notice the difference, physically speaking.

Ode to a Celebrity's Father

Mike Myers' indicated that his recent movie The Love Guru is a tribute to his late father. His father Eric died in 1991 following a long battle with Alzheimer's disease. The comedian admits he was so devastated by the loss he embarked on a journey of self-discovery to help him cope. And it was during this time in his life that he was inspired to create the character of "The Guru."

Myers explains, "I was devastated by his death. When my father died, I went on a little spiritual quest, just to try and make sense of it all. And, in many ways, The Love Guru is honoring him by dealing with his loss, because making silly movies is how I deal with things."

You know, I really hope that when I die, my son will be so moved to write, produce and act in such a jaw-droppingly bad awful movie. "Hey dad, I loved you so much that I made this turd of a movie to remember you by!" Jessica Alba could be riding around nude on a pegasus and I still wouldn't have any desire to see the film. Seriously, I would rather watch a video of my own prostate exam than watch this movie. But then again, it would help explain his other awful tribute films as "The Cat in the Hat," "Shrek the Third" and "Wayne's World 2."

Big Trouble, Dirty China

In addition to being a political junkie (despite the absence of postings during the heat of the election), I am also a big Olympics addict, specifically, track and field which has been one of my favorite sports since high school. No one in the states seems to enjoy the sport (similar to rugby) until it's time for the Olympics. I've watched the Olympics for as long as I can remember, certainly going back to the days when McDonald's ran its Olympic price contests ("What's that, we won another gold medal in swimming? Hello free medium sized french fries.").

And this year, I plan on watching every minute of the Olympics yet again. Or at least I was planning on watching every minute of it until I saw this photo and noticed that there was a slight visual problem in Beijing:



Jesus Christ, look at the thick blanket of soot overlaying the city. It looks like it was taken in a chimney. Are they mining coal right next to the stadium or what?

Despite all evidence to the contrary, Beijing City officials have confidently predicted that air quality will be good for the Games. Drastic efforts to curb pollution include pulling half of Beijing's 3.3 million vehicles off the roads, closing factories in the city and in a half dozen surrounding provinces, and halting most construction in the capital.

That didn't quite improve things and so, starting July 1, Beijing banned approximately 300,000 heavily polluting vehicles, such as aging industrial trucks.

Fantastic idea. However, today's picture make it appear that someone dumped a million tons of charcoal ash on the city.

So today Chinese state media reported that drastic measures - such as pulling more cars from the roads and shutting down additional factories - could be taken if the air quality does not improve. Jacques Rogge, president of the IOC, has warned that outdoor endurance events will be postponed if the air quality is poor.

This is fucking brilliant. The Olympics are 11 days away and officials are basically casting all their hopes on a shutdown of all machinery in the city. I'm surprised that they aren't doing something high tech, like employing the efforts of a wind Shaman or buying a ton of electric fans.

Seriously, it's not like this is a huge surprise. Everyone has known that Beijing has huge pollution issues. It's like letting Britney Spears babysit your kid off and being surprised when he comes home smelling like Marlboro's and Cheetos. Enough with the mock surprise here folks.

Oh wait, this just in ... Olympic officials are alarmed at the number of people in Beijing. "Seriously, there are a shitload of people living here. We had no idea when we awarded them the games,' said one official on the condition of anonymity.

"Don't Hope For A Better Life"

Who am I kidding, i fucking love politics. Especially when you are gifted with such fantastic content such as this awesome biographical about John McCain.

Voiceover: "It was a time of uncertainty, hope and change. The summer of love. Half a world away, another kind of love .... of Country."
Translation: "While all the filthy, hippy communists such as Obama were getting stoned and enjoying free-love Woodstock, McCain made decided to serve his country by going to Vietnam and being tortured endlessly."

Voiceover: "... an American, a maverick."
Translation: "A true maverick, like the kind of person that refuses to use a computer or the Internet." (oh wait, perhaps that should be "nutjob").

Voiceover: “John McCain doesn’t always tell us what we hope to hear.”
Translation: "We will never, ever exit Iraq during our lifetimes. Don't even think about it."

Voiceover: “Don’t hope for a better life.”
Translation: "Fuck hope."

Simply awesome. The only thing that would make this better is if he could somehow reincarnate Jesse Helms and make him his running mate.

P.S. Did anyone notice that Jesse Helms died on the fourth of July? How did I miss this? Oh well, rot in Hell Jesse.

BONUS: Check out the armpit sweat stains at 0:18 of the clip. Jesus Christ my man, did you run a marathon before filming that or what?

Work Crap

So I'm back in the San Francisco office today, where I go once per week in order to avoid the one hour commute (each way) to our offices in Palo Alto. I mentioned previously that on one occasion I was forced to share an office for a couple of hours with a woman who was doused with old lady perfume. Fortunately I manage to extricate myself from the office without any hurt feelings.

Me: "Hey there [ insert name ], I'm going to go get some coffee but I'll be right back. Do you want anything?"
Her: "No, I'm good. But are you sure you don't want to leave your laptop and all your belongings?"
Me: "Uhh, gotta run."

Since then I've specifically chosen to sit in different shared offices in order to avoid the perfume cropdusting. Today, I'm in the office adjacent to hers. Unfortunately, the odor wafts out her office door and somehow finds its way to where I am sitting. Either that or the overpowering smell is somehow forcing its way through the shared wall in order to poison me. I swear, the stuff has a mind of its own.

UPDATE: She just came in this office to ask me a work question. Ack. I am seriously considering abandoning all acceptable social conventions and wearing one of those surgical masks whenever I'm here. Hopefully it's more acceptable that I try to pass for "quarantined" as opposed to "nauseated."

John McCain "I Hate the Bloggers"

“Now we’ve got the cables. We’ve got talk radio. We’ve got the bloggers. I hate the bloggers. We’ve got all kinds of sources of information.”

The feeling is mutual, dickweed. Please just do us all a favor and simply croak. Much thanks.

Best Regards,
David James