Here's a short excerpt of the never-ending list of things that piss me off:* Three hour conference calls where I haven't been provided a copy of the handout materials. "Oh, you can Google 12 C.F.R. 30 to find the regulations online." Fuck that. I can also Google "amputee porn" but I'm not going to do that either.
* When it rains, there are 2 sets of people that annoy he shit out of me: (a) those people who have oversized umbrellas who walk down the middle of the street, causing other pedestrians to duck and dive out of their way, and (b) those people who have umbrellas but who insist on walking under the awning, forcing those individuals without umbrellas to walk out in the rain in order to avoid them.
* I bought a daybed sofa last night and specifically asked "does this include everything? Is there another box?" I was assured that I had everything. I get home ... open up the box ... and discover I'm missing the mattress, the hardware, the instructions and a pillow. What the fuck?! How could I be missing all this stuff? I call them back and they reassure me that there's not another box and ask that I return it for another box, presumably one that contains all of the required pieces. You can be goddamned sure that I'm going to open it up in the store and assemble it right there to make sure I have everything.
Okay, that is all .... for now.
5 comments:
Well hey, what is the deal with all of those umbrellas?! Am I right? And hey folks, how about daybeds - don't you hate 'em? Don't forget to tip your servers! Good night!
I'll add people driving 0.75 mph in parking garages. Please. People. It's a parking garage. Not that complicated really. The ten people backed up behind you for 9 floors would appreciate your help on this.
Anonymous - I know, what started off as witty David Cross-inspired has morphed into some bad Seinfeld monologue. Shoot me.
Smartypants - I could not agree more. Step on the gas or get out of the car. One of the two.
You did get the green sofa bed?
I ended up going with something different. I'll have to email you pics once I'm done decorating. I'm actually assembling the daybed today.
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